Get ready for the app that’s so exciting, you’ll practically “hit the woof”!
Introducing: DogLovr, the mobile-based dating application that automatically and realistically photoshops an adorable rescue dog into every picture you upload. Just sign up for the app, and answer a few simple questions to get started:
- What sort of breed do you fake own?
- How often do you take your fake dog on fake walks?
- Do you have any fake stories about your fake dog, maybe something about a fake ex-boyfriend or fake ex-girlfriend who left you for some fake reason that makes you more fake sympathetic and therefore datable today?
- Do you like dogs or are you a horrible, wretched, self-loathing cat person?
We can photoshop you having a good time with your favorite fake canine pal playing frisbee on a fake beach or exploring some fake mountains. And the best part is you don’t even have to leave the couch! Just upload a photo of your sedentary, chair-bound ass and our “body modification touch-up” specialists will do the rest!
We can do cavapoos, cockapoos, yellow labs, golden retrievers, and more. We can even make up dog breeds that have never existed before. That’s how powerful our revolutionary technology (photoshop) is!
And even if you already have a real, actual rescue dog in your profile pic, we’ll enhance its “rescue-ness,” by making its eyes bigger and more watery, and giving it a scar or a bandage on its paws or some shit like that. Men and women will be lining up in no time!
So use man’s best friend to find your next date today! What are you waiting for? Your inner lover is about to be “unleashed”!!