Hello there, members of the press who have assembling outside my home for some reason. Who is it that you’re looking for, exactly?

Paul Ryan? I’m not sure who that is. My name is… Daul… Smyan.

Goddamnit. Get it together, Paul. You can do this.

He’s some kind of political person, you say? I don’t follow the politics much. I’m just a simple… fisherman. Let me ask you this, though. Is he by any chance clean shaven, with perfect vision? Because as you can see I have a big mustache and glasses and also big bushy eyebrows, which I also imagine this Paul Ryan fellow does not have.

Okay, that was good. I think they’re buying it.

You want to ask me questions about Donald Trump anyway? Oh. Well, uh, unfortunately… Donald Trump? Who is that? I haven’t heard of him. As I mentioned before, I don’t follow politics.

Oof. Well, time to double down I guess.

I can’t very well respond to someone I haven’t heard of, can I? Who or what is Donald Trump? Is it a person, or is it a thing? Whatever it is, it sounds very interesting and I’ll be sure to do some research as soon as I have the chance. Not today, though. Today I have to… fix my… air conditioner. Yeah, that’s it. My air conditioner.

Air conditioner? Summer just ended, Paul, you freaking doofus.

He’s the what? The Republican what? Sorry, I can’t hear you. I have this weird ringing in my ears. I should definitely get that checked out, right? Probably today. Probably right now. Excuse me.

This is your chance, Paul. Run! Run away! Keep running and never look back!

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