The state of Missouri passed a law this week that will allow citizens to carry a concealed weapon without a state gun permit, criminal background check, or firearms training. But after intense media backlash, the state legislature has revised the law to say that anyone carrying a concealed weapon must wink at at least one person, then tap the side of their nose twice and smile.
“In retrospect, the previous version of the law was a little reckless,” said Missouri House Speaker Todd Richardson. “Letting any average person walk around armed to the teeth with absolutely no safety precautions is too dangerous, which is why we enacted the winking clause.”
Richardson then winked at reporters, raising one eyebrow and licked his lips slowly.
If a gun owner does not want to wink, according to the new law, they are also allowed to stare meaningfully at someone, crack their knuckles pointedly, or nudge a stranger and say “I hope some shit goes down.”
Gun owners are also allowed to alert people that they have a gun by shooting someone.