Tonight’s episode of everyone’s favorite new Bromance, Running Wild with Bear Grylls, stars none other than Magic Mike himself, Channing “Hot Bunz” Tatum. In my favorite promo, America’s favorite bro-heart (bro + sweetheart, just go with it) teaches known handsome man Bear Grylls how to “roll with the homies” on top of a mountain.
HELLO? CELESTE? YES, IT’S HEAVEN CALLING. WE’VE GOT SOME GREAT NEWS – WE HEARD YOUR PRAYERS!
Let’s break it down.
:07 – SNACKTIME. Right out the gate, Bear and Channing have food all over their faces. Channing’s nose is COVERED in frosting! I can only assume they fed each other cupcakes, although since they are “surviving” in the “wild” more likely they are eating the soft insides of a turtle shell (also known as a raw turtle).
:14 – “For me it’s a real privilege to take someone like Channing Into the Wild because he’s so good at all his break dancing and everything” – Bear Grylls in his most relatable moment yet, admits he wants Channing for his moves and I can only assume, for his body (if I’m reading into that “everything” correctly).
:20 – Bear Grylls dances as Channing Tatum, star of Step Up, and encourages him to dance like a total dork WHILST BEAT BOXING. Rewind or you’ll miss it – Channing is doing a soft beat box for Bear’s soft shoe.
:30 – Bear on Channing: “He’s a dancer, you know? He understands this stuff.” I’m guessing they cut out the part where Bear clarifies that he’s talking about making love.
:39 – Channing admits, “Bear is a completely horrid dancer but there’s still hope.” Hope in the form of Channing Tatum is the hope we can all believe in.
:53 – Bear asks Channing, “What about like slow dancing?” This is a move I wish I had in my teen game repertoire. Ask this at a high school dance? Oooh girl, you getting all that d! or v. Whatever your preference. And then Bear Grylls and Channing Tatum slow dance on top of a mountain. Because it’s a McWorld and “hey it can happen” is real.
PS. I swear this show is only about these moments where two really built hunky men get close together. Remember the tandem shirtless rappel with Zac Efron? I rest my case, America!
1:02 – Bear and Channing, NOOOOO DON’T GET SO CLOSE TO THE EDGE! Oh phew now Channing is going to teach him a goofy dad move better known as “the wave.” Bear will go on to use this at every wedding he ever goes to, always reminding everyone, “Channing Tatum taught me this on top of a mountain!”
1:09 – Great close up on Bear’s dumb face as he “concentrates.” I’m glad he gets a moment to let loose and do some hip hop instead of the usual, like drinking his own pee or kayaking down a waterfall or some other masculine show-offy shit.
1:14 – Bear attempts a wave. GIMME DAT GIF!
And then we end on some real dopey dancing on Bear’s part, which is totally endearing and charming and oh god he’s perfect.
Running Wild with Bear Grylls, airs on Mondays at 8/7 on NBC.