After a disastrous presidential campaign for the Republican Party, Paul Ryan has switched his workout playlist to 23 separate files of the Simon & Garfunkel classic, “The Sound of Silence”. The playlist serves as a confirmation that Ryan’s depression has leaked into his last remaining safe space — the gym.
“It’s an incredible song, don’t get me wrong,” clarified RNC chairman Reince Priebus. “But it’s obviously not meant for lifting free weights.”
Up until a few weeks ago, Ryan had leaned on his trusty workout to pump himself up each morning. But after Trump’s recent barrage of vicious, targeted tweets, Ryan has used the gym as less of a workout space and more of an emotion tank.
“He was straight-up bawling on the elliptical yesterday,” said one of Ryan’s staffers. “He’s normally grinning from ear to ear shouting, ‘It’s a great day to be the speaker!’ So yeah, there’s been a stark contrast.”
“It’s just not a good look for the party,” added Priebus. “I mean, he’s eating Ben and Jerry’s in between squats. Who does that?”