A new species of Hadid sister previously unknown to mankind has been discovered on a remote island in Fiji. Though the first-known Hadid sisters, Bella and Gigi, have been well documented in recent years, there is still relatively little information available about where they came from.

When the team of scientists first arrived on shore, lead researcher Margit Henderson noticed a trail of footprints on the beach. After examining them more closely, she noticed a curious mark. “It wasn’t from one of those thick toe rings from the 90s. I mean, of course, it was 90s-inspired, but our analysis showed that it was very thin and tasteful, which is when we knew we were on the right track.”


The team followed the footprints, where they eventually stumbled up a remarkable sight: a group of 43 Hadid sisters sunbathing on the beach.

“I think they thought we were paparazzi at first, because they started flashing peace signs while playfully sticking their tongues out and telling us which designers they were wearing. When they realized we were scientists, they ignored us. This was a huge relief, since it made studying them much easier.”

After a few preliminary tests, the researchers learned that over half of the Hadids were capable of identifying the most flattering angles for their jawlines on Snapchat in under three seconds, while a quarter of them had a heightened sense of when an after-party was about to start. Perhaps most remarkably, one specimen was able to camouflage a paid Instagram ad as spontaneous and personal.

It was also confirmed that 96% of them were genetically predisposed to becoming friends with Taylor Swift.

Like their mainland relatives, the new Hadids have proven to be extremely adept at appearing out of nowhere; however, their higher metabolism has led some experts to believe that the new species has a greater evolutionary advantage when it comes to looking better than other models in a group photo.

“We previously thought the Hadids stopped with Bella and Gigi, but our findings on this trip are completely turning that around. Now, it’s not crazy to think that there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of Hadid sisters waiting to be found,” said Henderson.

Leonardo DiCaprio will be funding a second expedition to study the new population of Hadids as he believes it will have a huge impact on the future of his penis.

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