Has our president come down with a case of irreversible “senioritis”? With stories about Hillary Clinton’s health swirling around, a shocking new report from Capitol Hill claims that POTUS has actually been wearing the same sweatpants for seven months.

“All of his speeches come from behind a podium or a desk, you see,” explained political strategist James Carville. “It’s your classic ‘business up top, slovenly senior down below’ look, that Reagan actually did undetected for years.”

High school and college graduates are familiar with the concept of senioritis, which can manifest itself in many forms, including day drinking, not handing in work assignments on time regardless of their importance, and watching all of Narcos season 1 again on Netflix.

“I’d just really like to be able to go to a nice restaurant without the host saying ‘um, uh, ew,'” said First Lady Michelle Obama. “Because this shit will not fly come January. I’ll see to that.”

Get Laughs in Your Inbox From Above Average!
We PROMISE to only send you funny stuff.