With nationwide attractiveness reaching unprecedented levels in the past two decades, there’s no denying that the residents of this great nation are Pretty Hot And Tempting. We conducted a Gallup poll to rank the top 10 cities where phatness has become an epidemic:

You ever been to Miami? If not, you should go, that place is phat as hell. Miami is basically one giant beach and two movie theaters. You could walk around in your swimsuit all day and everyone would be like “That’s fine.”


2 phat- las vegas
Las Vegas
Showgirls! Chippendales! Magicians! Money! Las Vegas has found a way to monetize its phatness and America loves it. Rip out that tequila and bring on the tigers in bikinis!


3 phat- new york
New York
You’re trippin if you think NYC wasn’t gonna be on here. All five boroughs (even you, Staten Island!) have something to offer. The MoMa, Central Park, AND the Williamsburg Bridge? New York is phat as phuck.


4 phat- los angeles
Los Angeles
LA is New York’s dumber but happier brother. With all those Hollywood models and desert weather, Los Angeles is – literally – Pretty Hot And Tempting.


5 phat- washington DC
Washington, D.C.
With great power comes great sexiness. Washington D.C. is like that shitty dude you dated in high school who drives an old Mustang with no muffler. He’s a dirty liar but he’s so charming you’ll keep taking him back.


6 phat- denver
You ever been to Denver? Everyone there has a beautiful body. So phat. Too bad they’re covered up with ski pants five months out of the year.


7 phat- seattle
Seattle is that helpful city that will fix your computer and teach you what “real” coffee tastes like. They’re good people. Even when it’s raining most of the time, they’re all like “Dude, it’s fine! Go Seahawks!”


8 phat- scottsdale
Scottsdale, Arizona
Scottsdale will pick you up in a Lamborghini and take you home in its arms. This Arizona city is loaded and has curves in all the right places. It’s Phat. It’s Phreaky. It’s Phoenix.


9 phat- chicago
If your single friend is always saying, “I just want a city that can make me laugh,” send them to Chicago. They’ve got a great comedy scene, and even in the depths of winter Chicagoans have a glass-half-full attitude. Only downside: A lot of people smoke there. But if we’re being honest, smoking looks very cool.


10 phat- harmony
Harmony, California
You’ve definitely never heard of this place, but it’s 100% real. This place, no joke, has a population of 18 people and is PROUD of it. Harmony is the Tom Cruise of American towns: tiny and confident.
(image via Daniel Smyth)

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