With nationwide attractiveness reaching unprecedented levels in the past two decades, there’s no denying that the residents of this great nation are Pretty Hot And Tempting. We conducted a Gallup poll to rank the top 10 cities where phatness has become an epidemic:
You ever been to Miami? If not, you should go, that place is phat as hell. Miami is basically one giant beach and two movie theaters. You could walk around in your swimsuit all day and everyone would be like “That’s fine.”
You’re trippin if you think NYC wasn’t gonna be on here. All five boroughs (even you, Staten Island!) have something to offer. The MoMa, Central Park, AND the Williamsburg Bridge? New York is phat as phuck.
With great power comes great sexiness. Washington D.C. is like that shitty dude you dated in high school who drives an old Mustang with no muffler. He’s a dirty liar but he’s so charming you’ll keep taking him back.
Seattle is that helpful city that will fix your computer and teach you what “real” coffee tastes like. They’re good people. Even when it’s raining most of the time, they’re all like “Dude, it’s fine! Go Seahawks!”
Scottsdale will pick you up in a Lamborghini and take you home in its arms. This Arizona city is loaded and has curves in all the right places. It’s Phat. It’s Phreaky. It’s Phoenix.
If your single friend is always saying, “I just want a city that can make me laugh,” send them to Chicago. They’ve got a great comedy scene, and even in the depths of winter Chicagoans have a glass-half-full attitude. Only downside: A lot of people smoke there. But if we’re being honest, smoking looks very cool.
You’ve definitely never heard of this place, but it’s 100% real. This place, no joke, has a population of 18 people and is PROUD of it. Harmony is the Tom Cruise of American towns: tiny and confident.
(image via Daniel Smyth)