On December 18th, The Force Awakens will premiere and introduce a slew of new characters from the Star Wars universe, including Finn, Rey, and Poe Dameron, and C-Pee-Pee-Poo, a robot made of toilet stuff.

Much like his predecessor, C-3PO, C-Pee-Pee-Poo is a humanoid robot designed to serve human beings. Unlike C-3PO, who is “fluent in over six million forms of communication” and serves as a sort of ambassador throughout the Galaxy, C-Pee-Pee-Poo is made of pee and poo.

C Pee Pee Poo_1

C-Pee-Pee-Poo doesn’t have the ability to dissemble, but he can regenerate forever because as long as humans keep making pee-pee and poo, they’ll keep making C-Pee-Pee-Poo. You see, allllll the toilet stuff that comes out of humans goes into a big pile, and C-Pee-Pee-Poo uses his advanced regeneration technology to squish handfuls of new pee and poo onto himself.

C-Pee-Pee-Poo’s origin story is complex. He was constructed on the planet Affa by a 7 year-old boy named Dirk, who was formerly the king of the Hoth cafeteria. In Star Wars, Pee-Pee-Poo, as he’s sometimes called, is injured in the Battle of Yavin, when a stormtrooper tries to wipe him away with toilet paper. But a monkey in Jabba the Hutt’s compound accidentally squishes C-Pee-Pee-Poo back together, and he keeps rollin’ around the universe.

C Pee Pee Poo_2

Just as C3PO is perceived as a god and, for this reason, is able to convince the Ewoks to join the Rebels in the Battle of Endor, C-Pee-Pee-Poo stinks up every room he’s in with piles of pee-pee and poo. In Revenge of the Sith, C-Pee-Pee-Poo almost stops Anakin from fully turning to the dark side of the Force, but he misses his chance when, instead, he just slides down the side of a toilet to collect more toilet stuff.

The Force Awakens is sure to be an amazing movie not least of all because C-Pee-Pee-Poo, a robot made of toilet stuff, will smear the Star Wars universe with all new colors.

Get Laughs in Your Inbox From Above Average!
We PROMISE to only send you funny stuff.