Despite its staggering $200 price tag, a new cookbook written by New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has sold out within hours of going on sale this week. The “TB12 Nutrition Manual” comes printed on 100-pound text paper with a cover made of laser-etched wood, and consists entirely of 89 different recipes for Gatorade soup.

“Gatorade soup is a cornerstone of my fitness plan” said Mr. Gisele Bündchen in a press release prior to the book’s release, “It’s got all the Gatorade nutrients I need to get in the game, plus it tastes just like Gatorade. Me no cook so good!”

Brady then tried to ease the minds of potential buyers concerned that the book’s cost just isn’t worth the recipes within. “First you take Gatorade and put it in a pot, and then you put the pot on the stove. That’s really it, but also you can mix the flavors. For example, my Brady Citrus Blitz Soup has two kids of Gatorade in it: Orange AND Lemon Lime. Slurping hot sports drink from a bowl is a critical first step toward achieving your peak performance, but I’m not allowed to use the stove when Gisele’s not home.”

The millionaire QB went on to remind fans that not one dollar of the book’s sales will go to any charity whatsoever.

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