You should have known better, really. After years of being loaned books you never read, and claiming that you’ll definitely look at someone’s blog, you’ve once again committed yourself to something you have no intention of doing: listening to a friend’s podcast. Yes, you looked poor, sweet, Jenny right in the eyes and said, “Sounds great, I’ll totally check it out!”

You knew it was a lie the second the words crossed your lips. You have no interest in hearing two hours of your friend discussing the nuanced relationships of the characters on “New Girl.” That’s right, her podcast is a weekly recap of the television show “New Girl.” Why? That’s not the point.

The point is, you’re a bad, bad friend! And now the weight of this betrayal will be hanging over you for—honestly, you’ll probably forget about it until two months down the line when Jenny— naive, earnest Jenny—reminds you about it.

She can never know that you could not care less about her podcast. It would break her heart. So when she asks you, “Hey, did you ever check out my podcast?” There’s only one correct answer: “Yes, yes I did. And I freaking loved it!”

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