I think everyone can agree that the first presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump was a classic. No one knew quite what to expect when these two personalities were brought face to face, and though it was a brutal match, Clinton emerged as the clear winner. But like most trilogies, the sequels just keep getting worse.

The second debate was a complete mess—tense, angry, and incoherent. And the third one is anticipated to be the worst yet, with a “shackles off” Donald Trump lashing out in a last-ditch effort to turn the election around.

In fact, the expectations are so low for a constructive, rational third debate that the only way it could get any worse is if they bring in Ewoks. That’s right, the furry, teddy bear-like creatures from the planet Endor that ruined Return of The Jedi.


Yes, the only way this vile shit-show of a debate could be more horrifying is if, mid-debate, a herd of Ewoks is released onto the stage to make quaint weapons out of tree trunks in order to adorably stop Trump from attacking Clinton, and inducing more eye-rolls than his constant invocations of Bill Clinton’s marital indiscretions.

So unless, by some miracle, the third debate is cancelled, the best thing to do is pretend it never happened, and just pray they never make prequels.

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