Brushing aside accusations that his campaign and personal wealth alike have been financed by Vladimir Putin and the Russian oligarchy, a spokesman for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump reminded critics of the small donations made to the GOP nominee’s bid. “This summer’s fundraising speaks for itself: Trump has electrified the Republican base” said a Trump rep this weekend. “We raised over 5 Billion rubles in July alone.”

“Some donations came in dollars, some came in cents. Some were yen, and honestly? Some were rubles. Whether that’s a lot or a little of our total liquidity, there’s just no way of telling. Donald is a very busy man, and doesn’t have time to vet every last donation” the spokesperson explained.


“All together though, we’re talking 80 million bucks here. Or, in winner speak: over 5 billion rubles. You tell me what sounds better: 80 million bucks, or 5 billion rubles? A-doyyy.”

Trump’s rep went on to remind everyone that Vladimir Putin is actually a pretty good dude, and that Mr. Trump’s unreleased tax records are of no consequence to this discussion.

Get Laughs in Your Inbox From Above Average!
We PROMISE to only send you funny stuff.