When Death Cab for Cutie first started putting out music in 1997, their “cutie” status was not in doubt. Band members were in their early 20s, crooning out soulful indie rock while wearing just the cutest outfits.

But like many of us, Death Cab for Cutie has grown up. And now they want to be known as Death Cab for Beautiful.

“Walk up to the next 40-year old man you see and say ‘What a little cutie you are.’ See what kind of reception you get,” said longtime Deathcab member Jason McGerr. “Actually, it would be weird to do that to a 20-year old man. Maybe this was a bad name for a band this whole time. Whoa.”

Look how cute they were!


The band has been holed up in an undisclosed location for weeks to discuss the massive change to their identity.

“Yeah, I mean, what even is a ‘deathcab’?” asked a clearly shaken Nick Harmer. “A taxi where you get murdered? That’s not cute at all. What about something like Horse Carriage Ride for Gorgeous.”

“Yeah, that’s the good stuff,” enthused all other members of the band in unison.

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