Uhhh, yikes. To celebrate Memorial Day, the Above Average Investigative Team broke into a local hotdog factory to see what tube steak makers are REALLY dumping into delicious HD’s. What we found will shock and disgust you. Here’s all the ingredients in a real koshy b hotdog:

– Sweet n’ Low

– Spaghetti

– Monster mash

– Chinese newspaper

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– Uneaten hotdog nubs from last summer

– Sand

– Finger puppets

– Hamburgers

– Gushers

– Medium-firm pillows


– Mice babies

– Various commercial food-glues

– Snood meat

– Greek yogurt

– Shoelaces (dirty)

– Shavings

– Memory foam

– Dimples

– The wet diaper of one of those dolls that really pees

– Opaque lava lamp solids

– Reader’s Digest

And that’s it. Pretty gnarly, right gang? If I were me, I’d avoid hotdogs like the plague, another thing we found in hotdogs. Happy Memorial Day everyone. Stay safe, woke and hydrated our there.

Images via Shutterstock
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