Yesterday, Tidal released a remix of Fat Joe’s “All The Way Up” that featured a verse from Beyoncé Knowles’ husband, Jay-Z, in which the rapper offered his thoughts on “Lemonade,” in response to zero requests from anyone.

As soon as Beyoncé released her brutally honest and personal “Lemonade” album and accompanying short film last month, people nowhere were wondering what her husband had to add to the conversation. “Since ‘Lemonade’ is 100% not about my experience or my perspective, I thought it was important to publicly weigh in, since literally nobody wanted me to,” said Jay-Z, into a vacuum of nothing.

In a lyric that no living person in this country was waiting for, Jay-Z says, “Lemonade is a popular drink and it still is.” “Whenever you have a piece of feminist art,” says feminist scholar Jorge Brang, “it is essential, at some point, for a man to deem that piece of art ‘relevant’ or ‘valuable’. Otherwise we can’t be sure that it was.”

Fans of “Lemonade” who had lost zero sleep being tormented by the thought of how Jay-Z felt about the record will now sleep exactly the same, since his take on her groundbreaking, multi-media, critically acclaimed work is of no consequence.

Sources say that Jay-Z is busily working on his next unsolicited response to Beyoncé’s music, to be released four weeks after everyone has heard her shit and already decided it’s fire. Said one fan, “I just can’t wait to not listen to it by not subscribing to Tidal.”


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