This Mother’s Day I am, once again, uncertain as to what it is exactly I should be celebrating. For all the good my mother has done for me in my life, no deed has yet come close to compensating her gravest offense to me, her only son. I ask you this: why must I celebrate the woman who erased my Pokemon Blue file before I caught them all?

In addition to having a level 99 Snorlax that was but battles away from leveling up to 100, I had caught 135 of the 151 Pokemon in the game. A play date with my classmate Max had been arranged, wherein he would trade me several Pokemon that were only available in Red version. But then, my ‘mother’, a woman it is required we honor on this day, foolishly cleaned my green Game Boy Pocket, which I had never asked her to do. This led water to seep into my game cartridge, corrupting my file for good.



Does this sound to you like a woman deserving of praise? Recognition? No. Rather, admonishment would be more fitting. Admonishment, perhaps, by the hands of a powerful Mewtwo, or Zapdos. But, oh…wait. That’s right. Neither are around to do so. Thanks to ‘mom.’

If the populace shared my harrowing experience of having a near completed Pokemon Blue file corrupted by their mother, I assure you, there would be no such “Mother’s Day”. So on this day, all she will be thanked for is stopping me from “becoming the best, like no one ever was.”

Ryan Creamer writes for Mashable. Follow him in on Twitter at @ryguyguyry.


Get Laughs in Your Inbox From Above Average!
We PROMISE to only send you funny stuff.