There’s no denying that in the mid-20th century, the secretive nature of America’s space program was a necessity. In the days of Soviet spies, any and all scientific discovery had to be propriety for fear of being weaponized by the enemy. However, the Cold War is over: America won the space race long ago, and the establishment and operation of the International Space Station has set a terrific precedent for the sharing of information toward humanity’s exploration of the universe.

So why won’t NASA show us what it looks like to nut in space?

You know at least some astronauts had to have been dirty dogs who just couldn’t wait to nut up there, and it doesn’t make any sense for an astronaut to hold it the whole time – he’d splash back down to Earth so backed up! I don’t even need to see anybody full-fledged humping up there or anything, I just want to see what it looks like when someone nuts in zero-gravity.

Y'know, like this, but nut. Or maybe not like this! That's why I want to see it.

Y’know, like this, but nut. Or maybe not like this! That’s why I want to see it.


I mean, if it already happened (which it most definitely has), why keep the images hidden? Really, I don’t even need to see it coming out – they can blur that part. I just want to see it dancing in the air to know if it behaves like water or toothpaste, both things which I have seen pictures of floating in space. Maybe something really bad or messed up happens when you nut in space, and that’s why they’re keeping the footage secret!

Either way, NASA should at least dignify my Freedom of Information Act requests with a response, if not just release the astro-nut footage from its vault at Area 51. I really want to see it.

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